why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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