I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize