Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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