pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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