I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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