You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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