Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
