i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
