It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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