There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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