Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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