I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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