billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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