I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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