After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
