i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Drake has all the answers
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
