Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
