my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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