Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
