dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
