All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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