well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
