eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
