wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
