she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize