STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
