why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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