we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
