Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
