all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
