I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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