Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
