shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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