Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
