My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
