I hate all girls vehemently.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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