No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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