I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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