You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
