i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
