Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
