The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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