i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
