Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
