I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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