Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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