I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
