I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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