just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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