At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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